Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Punter, Oct 7, 2011.
Viz sums them up perfectly...
I'm away for a fortnight from the 12th of June in Zante with the misses and a friend of mine with his misses (old scouse) he used to post now and again a long time ago.
Anyhow he came down last weekend to pay the rest of his holiday money then drops the bombshell, he's 99.9% certain he won't be going but his misses will
I said you're fucking joking, is it your health? no he replies, nothing like that but wouldn't tell me.
I told him you better try and get there as I don't won't to be going away with two women ffs, he said he'll try but doubts it very much
Then today a funny thing happens, Moans post me a link she came across on trip advisor where he's asking can you metal detect on the beaches of Zante, I know he's a detecting fan because he nearly got us arrested in Benidorm when moonlighting on the beach and finding tons of bottletops lol b4 the old bill turned up, strange though seeing as he's told me he's not going.
Anyhow I decided to go moronic on him and see what happens, I'm bottletopmagnet.....
It was harmless enough, I should have took a copy of it as I didn't expect it to get delled.
Unless there's any chance of you getting a double up mind
Still find it strange he's posting on there about detecting when he's told me he's not going.
I replied about him being able to detect if he goes into a hire shop and enquire about secret surfing, where he can hire a surfboard (which they keep in the back) with the detector built in which he can pull along the beach.
He's 99.9% sure he's not going and I'm 99.9% he would have fell for it
Yeah, it's probably an accident because along that stretch of road they have these car meets with boy racers.
I'm surprised it's took so long before something like this has happened.
You'll have to keep us updated as to what happens, that's weird as hell, surely he's just on the wind up?
Anyway, more importantly, what kind of weirdo goes on holiday abroad and spends their time fucking metal detecting?
That's his hobby lol, he's not your usually anorak mind as his detecting is more like a SAS secret mission in the middle of the night with his detector mates hoping to find the holy grail.
He's been all over the world doing it, with plenty of stories to tell, helicopters looking for them the lot, imo it would be easier to rob a bleeding bank.
He went on Benidorm beach looking for gold rings lost in the sea, I went along as a look out because I was pissed and he convinced me the cold sea shrinks the fingers and there's loads to be found in the surf.
Turns out there's fuck all to be found in the surf apart from ring pulls from the 70's and 80's and I'm a shit look out because in a flash the police were on us, I was looking out for police cars and vans and the fcukers turned up on Beach Buggies with the lights out lol.
Anyhow as my post got deleted I PM'ed him instead with this....bear in mind for as clever as he thinks he his, he's very gullible lol......
Hi Mate, I tried to reply to your thread but it got deleted.
I'm a regular beach hunter myself and have done Zante a few times.
On the strip in Alykanes there are a few shops that have secret surfboards in the back, you need to ask but if you're a tourist it shouldn't be a problem.
It's a surfboard with the detector built in, everybody does it.
It's not cheap at around 20 euros a day and a 100 euro deposit but it's good fun, if you see somebody dragging a surfboard along the beach you can pretty much guarantee they'll be secret surfing.
Three hrs later I got the reply....
Lol cheers jeff
Sounds like a fob off doesn't it, but I know him well enough because he's replied to see he's testing the waters, I'm going to reply with some hire shop names I know in the area and I guarantee he'll come back to me 'Jeff' for more details.
watch this space.
I don't know when your going but I'll be in Alykes on the 16th and 17th of June with a couple of mates secret surfing for a laugh then hitting the hills after dark with the real gear, we've got a couple of sites bookmarked that have been generous in the past (found a full Etruscan bronze figure last year)
If you're there on those dates you're more than welcome to join us, don't bring any gear though as we have everything and don't want to arouse suspicion should you get pulled at customs with anything.
If not I suggest having a chat with Nikos in Alykes (owner of whispers bar) and mention me, he'll sort you out if you don't fancy secret surfing lol.
That's fucking class, really really hope he falls for it
This is going to be very hard to keep a straight face
I'll explain later as I need to have a quick look at Moan's car because it won't start, brb.
You are some sort of ballbag, Slick
I'm off camping this weekend. Petruth, Cheddar Gorge. Me and two mates. We go every year, just pitch up, get a fire on the go, sit and get pissed, stoned and put the world to rights for 72 hours.
I probably wont even wash, brush my teeth, change my undies during that period. Just sit there stinking like a hobo, talking bollocks.
Might even get a bottle to piss in save me getting out the chair. Komp would be proud.
Don't know where to start with 'Old Scouse'
He phoned up Sunday saying he wanted to come down and talk about the holiday with his misses which he did, she fcuking bollocked him for saying he's not going, saying she ain't going on holiday to sit there like a spare part lol and put him in his place, while he was saying everything's falling into place now but still wouldn't say what.
Then while having a brew he mentions he might have to disappear on the 16th or 17th for a day or two
Keeping a straight face I said, 'oh aye, what have you got planned?'
He then goes onto mention Trip advisor and the secret surfboards, I then say 'well you'll stand out like a sore thumb, a fat bastard like you walking about with surfboard, is it a good idea?', just to start laughing because I couldn't keep it in any longer.
That broke the ice because then I could laugh my fcuking socks off as he goes onto tell me about Jeff and meeting him in whispers bar, any doubts he had were taken away as I go onto mention I know whispers bar, then start tapping my head pretending to think of the owner, Nico....NICO'S the name I say and it was like a Eureka moment for him.....'that's the fella' he shouts, I've got see see Nico and ask for Jeff
I might have a dabble at the secret surfing but I'm definitely interested in going up the hills with the real gear, I don't even have to bring anything because Jeffs got it all.
He was carrying on like he knew Jeff all his life, he was that trusting I was beginning to think is he reverse engineering this joke on me lol.
So when he was going, I pulled his misses over to one side (She likes a laugh and I know she'll keep mum) and said I'm Jeff, I could tell by her reaction and the way she nearly pissed her knickers they didn't know it was me and she promised to keep quiet.
I just need to think about where to take it from here now