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A Weekend Thread

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Punter, Oct 7, 2011.

  1. slick

    slick Administrator

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    I'm happy with that, I could have talked about detecting with the teletubbies but I know 'Nighthawk' and 'Haul' will fine tune his attention and he'll just gloss over whatever he's read before.
  2. Seen

    Seen Moderator

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    3,274
    :p
  3. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    Hope you're having a good one Slick and your pal Steve hasn't killed you yet.

    I've got one more shift to do then i've 12 days off. 12 days!!
    Spending seven of them down on the south coast. Torquay, Paignton, Goodrington Sands and Brixham.
    I've had a few weekends away, but no weeks holiday away for 7yrs, so i'm looking forward to it. Me, the mrs, two daughters and their partner/hubby. It'll be the first one with my Grandson, too. Me and him are going to play all the adults up.

    Supposed to be in for some cracking weather :beer
    slick and rcgills like this.
  4. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    That’ll be brilliant mate. Making memories.
  5. Kegman

    Kegman Moderator

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    2,226
    Enjoy Punter. How was the camping trip ?

    I don't know if I've mentioned it already or not but we weren't going to go on a holiday this year (was going to try and save up) but I've said fuck it - your a long time dead and we are going back to France. Love the place. Good weather, lovely markets and towns, great food and bevvy. Will worry about eldest going to uni / college at another time.
    Will maybe get a scoop6 or massive coupon up soon to pay for that later.

    :beer
    slick likes this.
  6. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    Spot on mate. You can't buy good times and memories
    Punter likes this.
  7. Kegman

    Kegman Moderator

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    Your right ODM. Think this will be last holiday with the eldest for a while and I'm surprised she's coming this year to be fair.

    Her and her pals are talking about Magaluf next year. It better be all inclusive as all they can cook is super noodles or pasta 'n' sauces and they need to use every pan in the house even to do that.
    Punter likes this.
  8. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    9,912

    :lol

    Make the most of this year mate, you'll get no sleep next summer when she's over there, no matter how sensible she is, the first holiday is a worry. Mine did the Magaluf thing and then fucked off to India for six months. You think when you have them that the sleepless nights are going to end when they're babies but the truth is that they never do:lol
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  9. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    Yeah that's what it's all about. The Grandson burst in to his mum and dads bedroom this morning shouting " Two more Sleeps". Then started going on about going crabbing lol.

    The camping trip was sound Kegs. Pissed up big time on the Friday, didn't move a muscle on the Saturday. Not exactly hanging but i sat in a chair for 22 hrs solid on the Saturday, mainly smoking, chatting bollocks and people watching (there was about 500 people on site). Nothing exciting but it was a good blow out/chill out.

    Enjoy the Holiday mate, you're right, we're a long time dead and i know you and your girls love it there.
    We had the same worries about Uni/college cost with my youngest but she opted for an Apprenticeship with a local company in the end and it's starting to pay off. They're worth looking into as another option to uni/college, there are some good ones about, but best wishes which ever route she takes.
  10. slick

    slick Administrator

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    10,445
    Have a good un Punt.

    The secret surfing escapade turned out to be a laff as it unfolded not as I expected but old scouse wasn't amused one bit initially :lol
    Once the penny dropped and he got his head round it he came round after a couple of minutes.

    I'll explain all later in the week as I'm just catching up with my emails that I haven't read for a fortnight.
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  11. slick

    slick Administrator

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    Have a good un too Keggers, I jumped in there without reaching the end of the thread.
  12. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    Sounds like it's one worth listening to. Are you back at work now then?
  13. slick

    slick Administrator

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    10,445
    Back in on Thursday as Moans fcuked up the dates for the holiday and had me booking off a fortnight on the presumption we were flying out on Tues the 12th coming back Today in the early hrs of Wednesday, so I booked that day off too.
    Turns out we were going from Monday to Monday:rant so I've had to book an extra day.

    I said I might go back tomorrow and claim a day back but my cars MOT has ran out while I was away so I'll have to sort that out now instead, don't mind though considering the weather outside.

    If you're free tomorrow and want to sort Wagerr out, just give me a shout.
  14. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    i'm free all day tomorrow so I'll post on here when I'm up and you can fit me in when you can. I'll try to remember where the fuck I got to :frown
  15. slick

    slick Administrator

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    10,445
    K m8, I'm trying to wrangle another couple of days off work so I don't have to go back while Monday, be a crime not to in this weather.
  16. Howson

    Howson Active Member

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    758
    Life of Riley you mate - youve been off about 3 weeks already.
  17. slick

    slick Administrator

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    10,445
    Aye 3 weeks now lol, longest I've ever been off work, I know what it's like to have your job now.
    I've quite got into the swing of things now and could quite happily retire tomorrow, more so when the weather's been like it has been.

    Right where do I start with old scouse and Jeff?

    Things didn't quite go to plan, I had two Brother in laws holidaying in Zante (their second week coinciding with my first with one he's never seen before) at the time we arrived and I had the intention of getting the he's never seen to play Jeff while I filmed it lol but that never transpired because two days into the holiday Moans tells me she has to see that particular brother because she has brought over a gluten free loaf for him (all of her family have coeliac disease).

    Anyhow before all that, we arrived at the airport and I notice old scouse and his misses have three suitcases, I ask why the three suitcases? and he replies because they didn't have two big cases , they're using one big one and two smaller cases.
    Nonchalantly I remark, Oh!, I thought you had brought your detector (as he has done in the past), to which he replies 'nah, I don't need one , Jeff has all the gear.'.

    At that I leave it as not to arouse suspision.

    We arrive at the resort at about 9pm, grab a quick couple of pints then offer to have a walk to the supermarket for milk sugar etc for the morning leaving the tuther halves at the holiday complex bar.
    On the way back he say's 'fcuk me I'm out of breath' so I reply 'and you want to go up those hills detecting lol'.
    (You can see the hills all around us which are vast, he takes a look but says nothing)

    In the morning we have breakfast at the bar and in full daylight I can see him scanning the hills, he starts pointing a few things out asking what they are, as they're just dots on the landscape I say I haven't a clue but you'll find out soon enough lol.
    Then he say's I think you're right, 'fcuk the hills, I'm just gonna stick to the beaches with the surfboard'.
    ''I don't blame you." I reply.
    'What day's the 16th?' he asks
    Pretending to count on my fingers I reply "Saturday"
    'I'll be seeing Jeff then, where's Whispers bar from here?'
    I proceed to give him basic directions when moans chips in, 'We can show you Tonight as I'm meeting my brother in there to give him his loaf'.

    BOSH!! This is a surprise to me and because I hadn't even mentioned any of this to the bro in law he hadn't seen yet (I was hoping to discuss it over a pint at our complex because they wanted to come down and view it.) I just let it ride and see what transpires, The 5 days I thought I had to arrange something had gone straight out of the window.

    So that night we have dinner then set off to walk the mile or two to Whispers bar (we're in neighbouring resorts).
    Funnily enough, about half way there we pass a mobility scooter parked up outside bar, Old scouse goes over to it and says while patting the seat...'I'm supposed to hire one of these but don't get it (I should have done more research lol), Jeff say's he uses it to light up an area but when we go detecting illegally we have to tape up the leds on the detector or anything that can reflect moonlight, Nico's got some off road wheels and super batteries of one sort or another behind the bar, maybe they ride them between the tree's' he say's now patting the width of the scooter.

    "Maybe you ride them up the hills" I reply.

    'Nah, Jeffs got a trailer, everything is transported up, we're going to Whispers so I'll ask the owner, if he doesn't know then I'll wait while Saturday and ask Jeff.'

    Then off we go to Whispers bar.

    On entering Whispers bar, who happens to be stood in the middle of the room, yes Nico and he makes a beeline over to me and moans welcoming us (this is our third visit to the resort).
    I try to play the name down, but Moans is all 'Hi NICO, how are you NICO, glad to be back NICO etc etc.
    In the meantime I spot the two bro in laws and their spouses in the backroom, waving trying to gather their attention and pulling on Moans's arm to make a point of my find, she finally responds and turns her attention to them.

    As we're walking over Old scouse says to me 'Is that Nico' just to confirm what he's already gathered like you do lol, so I say "yes".

    'EXCUSE ME NICO, can I have a word please'............ffs, I don't know whether stay or flee:lol

    I decide to stay but not for long because Old scouse say's 'do you know Jeff?'
    Nico rubbing his temples with his thumb and index finger for what seemed like an age but was probably only a few seconds responds "you mean Scottish Jeff?"

    That was it, I was fcuking out of the bar area and into the backroom in a flash :lol
    Trying not to piss my pants, me and old scouses misses are trying to explain the unexplainable to the party we are now with leaving Old scouse to babble away total bollox to some old Greek bloke with limited English who created Scots Jeff hoping it would pacify him and make him fcuk off:roll.

    After a few minutes the consensus was I better go and bring him back before things got out of hand, good job I did really because when i did go to the bar, Old scouse was pointing behind the bar and Nico had a worried look on his face.

    So I mozey over to the bar and stand at the side of Old Scouse tapping him on the shoulder, he's very deep in conversation with a bloke that hasn't a fcuking clue what he's talking about but old Scouse has that intense look on his face, the sort you'd find with somebody stepping up to take a penalty to win the world cup.

    I say 'I'm Jeff'

    He looks at me like I shouldn't be there, acknowledges me because I am there, then turns round and continues the conflab with Nico:lol

    Then the penny drops, the Money shot so to speak.
    His head spins round like and with that look of linda Blair out of the Exorcist and say's 'what the fuck did you just say'

    "I'm Jeff"

    With that and I've never seen him this flustered in my life, he apologies to Nico and starts carrying on to me about how Nico though he was either selling or asking for drugs:lol

    It took him a full 5 or 10 minutes see the funny side of things and admit it was a good one before the excuses started to come out that he thought he was being set up yadda yadda yadda

    Truth was he was taken in hook line and sinker:thumb
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2018
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  18. slick

    slick Administrator

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  19. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    Yeah it's just down the road.
    I'm going for a drive by wank later!
    slick likes this.
  20. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    Then the penny drops, the Money shot so to speak.
    His head spins round like and with that look of linda Blair out of the Exorcist and say's 'what the fuck did you just say'

    "I'm Jeff"


    :lol:lol

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