Goal of the Weekend Contenders

It's a gid yin alright but I like my goals to be something more subtle rather than a speculative punt or a strike from 30 yards that could have gone anywhere 9 times out of ten. Add to that the fact that it's Scottish football (which is one step up from women's football) and against a team who are so shite, they're even at the bottom of that piss poor league. Oh, and against a goalkeeper who has never played for a decent team in his entire life and I'm afraid it can't be the goal of the weekend for me.

You see that's exactly the kind of goal I wouldn't even consider. Someone runs onto the ball and just whacks the fucker in the general direction of the goal and hopes for the best. Doesn't pick a corner out. Doesn't put it between the keeper's legs or pick out the exact corner of the goal. 8 times out of ten that knocks a burger out of some poor fucker's hand.

No, I like some finesse in my goals. Like a Berkamp or a an Henry or that little cunt who played for Chelsea who I can't remember. Or a Hoddle. Or a Best. Or a.........anyway, I'm going off track. Sorry to say that, although I do entirely take your point that I should put up an alternative, I haven't watched MOTD or seen any decent goals in the live matches so I just can't put one up but I'll be sure to be on the case for this coming weekend.

The long distance strikes look great and we've all found ourselves involuntarily saying "what a goal" but the best ones for me are team goals where someone wins the ball near the half way line and half a dozen quick passes and flicks later someone places it neatly past the keeper.

I shall report back Sir