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SMS Jokes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by slick, Aug 8, 2011.

  1. winrew

    winrew GILF

    Messages:
    2,020
    It’s sad news about the NME.
    I used to keep mine in a pile near my bed, just in front of my US sitcom DVDS. I’d keep my Friends close, and my NMEs closer.
    Punter and slick like this.
  2. rcgills

    rcgills Moderator

    Messages:
    3,951
    :lol
  3. Punter

    Punter Moderator

    Messages:
    6,924
    My wife has just left me due to my love of horse racing...

    She's at the gate, and she's off!
  4. Kegman

    Kegman Moderator

    Messages:
    2,255
    I don't know how to tell you this as it's very difficult for me to say but Ken Dodds dads dog's dead.
    slick and Punter like this.
  5. rcgills

    rcgills Moderator

    Messages:
    3,951
    A policeman's just knocked on my door, told me my dog's been chasing people on bikes.

    Told him it can't be my dog, he's not got a bike.
    Punter and fcbasher like this.
  6. Seen

    Seen Moderator

    Messages:
    3,298
    Just found out my best mate took an overdose of indigestion tablets....I cannot believe Gav is gone :frown
    SAMOAN and slick like this.
  7. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,596
    My doctor assured me that it's quite normal to get an erection during a prostate exam.

    "But I've not got an erection" I told him.

    " No but I have." he replied.
  8. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

    Messages:
    9,988
    :lol
  9. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,596
    I met a transvestite from Greater Manchester yesterday.

    He had a Wigan address.
  10. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,596
    The wife was trying to be sexy for me last night. When I came up the stairs, I found her lying naked on the bed, licking a lollipop. Then she slipped it up her fanny... I said, "Careful with that, love. You'll need it to help the children across the road tomorrow!"
  11. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

    Messages:
    9,988
    :roll

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