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SMS Jokes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by slick, Aug 8, 2011.

  1. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,877
    Glad you like them ODM, not many do these day's.

    I was at a New years party last week and all the youngsters were telling jokes, shite PC ones tell the truth so I thought I'd give them some old school.

    "What do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath"?

    "Throw your washing in." I said with a grin on my face.

    Then some young upstart got up and starting swinging punches at me, hold ya horses tiger I said, what's the problem?

    'My younger brother's epileptic and died in the bath two years ago' he said.

    "Fcuk, sorry Pal , I didn't know and apologise", did he drown?

    No he replied, 'He choked on a sock'.......:leaving
    Punter likes this.
  2. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,877
    I asked a homeless woman if I could take her home.
    She smiled and said yes.

    You should have seen the look on her face when I fcuked off with her cardboard box.
    Punter likes this.
  3. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,877
    How do you turn a duck into a soul singer ?
    Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.


    I'm planning to go on dragons den during 2019, with my modern glass coffin design.
    Whether they like it or not remains to be seen.
  4. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,877
    The Pope is in Liverpool handing out miracles & a kid comes up & asked "Can you help me with my hearing ?"
    The Pope clasped his hands over the child's ears & says a prayer. At the end he asks "is it better? "
    The child replies "I dunno it's not until Thursday"
    Punter and rcgills like this.
  5. rcgills

    rcgills Moderator

    Messages:
    4,063
    SMS jokes? Reckon that one must've been around since before SMSs were invented :giveup

    :lol
    slick likes this.
  6. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

    Messages:
    10,211
    To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy now!
    Punter likes this.

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