1. Hi and welcome to Betnod. If you would like to view the forum without adverts then please register.

WTF

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by winrew, Dec 3, 2011.

  1. winrew

    winrew GILF

    Messages:
    2,086
    To quote the kids !!!

    A mates wife died at the grand old age of 42 , had her breasts removed because of breast cancer in the family , she died two years later , didn't really make much difference did it ?

    Her daughter is faced with the same dilemma , she opts for surgery , everything seems to be okay after the op , six months later she needs chemo , cut a long story short , she was back in hospital on Thursday , she aint coming home , she might be lucky and see next weekend , a bit of a personal thread but i needed a outlet for my sadness , lovely lass , great husband , two kids , fuck , lifes really shite , 38 , great time to die , not ...
  2. Punter

    Punter Moderator

    Messages:
    7,360
    My missus is just over it, or at least we hope she is, truth be told it's probably too soon to be saying that, she was cleared 4 or 5 months ago but you hear stories of it coming back within a certain time. I pray it wont come back.

    She works in a doctors surgery in a small village, like something out of Heartbeat really. The doctors wife was diagnosed with breast cancer on Wednesday.

    Breast Cancer, it's two words i seem to hear more and more of these days.

    Sorry to hear of your sadness Win'.. there's nothing sadder when a young child loses a parent.
  3. Wayne

    Wayne Active Member

    Messages:
    576
    Fucking hell - that's shocking Win. Sorry to hear such an awful story mate.

    I hate seeing threads like this as it just reminds me of how vulnerable we all are to this disease. But we need reminding don't we. 99.9% of us take our health for granted until one day, it affects you or someone close to you and all those things you never got round to doing will forever remain on the 'to do' list. Live life to the full while you're here I say.

    Oh and Kop, :crossfingers
    Punter likes this.
  4. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

    Messages:
    10,558
    Yes there is, when a parent loses a young child.

    That aside though, Wayne is right - and not just about how vulnerable we are to cancer but just how vulnerable we are in general. There will be dozens of people just this week who kissed their families goodbye in the morning and never saw them again.

    I doubt that Punter is ever going to take his loved ones for granted again because of his experience but most of us just pause for five minutes and think when we read stuff like this - and it saddens us, both for the people involved and for the realisation of how fragile life's balance is. But tomorrow, we will act and feel exactly like we acted and felt exactly the same as we did last Sunday.

    Last Sunday is a bad example because of the Gary Speed thing. I get the impression that most football fans are feeling pretty much the way I'm feeling about that. I'm shocked about how sad it makes me. Some bloke I don't even fucking know for God's sake. But the principle is true. The younger ones amongst us have an excuse because they are young and ignorant about life (yes you are, you just don't know it yet). We've all been there. The older ones amongst us have no such excuse so tell your love ones how you feel today. Phone up the brother/sister/friend that you keep meaning to phone but never do. Patch up an old quarrel over fuck all. Visit the parents before the old cunts shuffle off the mortal coil for good. Christmas may be a great big steaming pile of sentimental and commercial wank but it's a good excuse to break some ice.

    Most of us spend our lives in some kind of routine. Head down, on our little treadmill week after week, glancing over our shoulders now and again to wonder where all the years went. Do something different and get in touch while you can. The reality is - you may never see them again.
  5. hotspur

    hotspur Active Member

    Messages:
    2,215
    Well said,ODM but I almost wish you hadnt cos I find myself having to add:
    In the last year of my fathers life,I found the situation too difficult to handle(the way he was treating my mother among other things)so I wrote a letter to my mothers GP and pretty much left them to it.
    To cut a long story short,I was in the house on the morning my father died as he was in a bad way.
    He died in the bathroom and I dealt with the situation and the ambulancemen came and took him away.
    Then,I was alone with my mother awaiting social services because she was sufferring from alzheimers and NOW BELEIVED THAT I was my father,therefore not allowing me to leave the house or do any of the many things I needed to do.
    While she was in the room with me the phone rang....and,despite being 80 years old,my mother immediately cried out my name and DASHED for the phone in the hall,answering in literally 5 seconds.
    I had to listen to her shouting my name into the receiver knowing
    a) that she would never recognise me as her son again
    b) HOW MUCH a simple phone call meant to her-I had no idea,no fucking idea
    and,of course,c)that there could never be any getting away from the fact that all this meant that I would always be a cunt

    She eventually hung up the phone(I was in no mood to talk to anyone right then),came back into the room and said,
    Oh,I thought it was Anthony,I wonder where he can be-I am so worried about him...
    By then I had my head in my hands and,metaphorically,it has been there ever since.

    CARPE DEUM
  6. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

    Messages:
    10,558
    Fuckin' hell that's sad hotspur. Do you wish you'd never found out how much a phone call meant? I know you've got to put up with the guilt but is there any sort of comfort in it in some way - or just all guilt.

    I have to say that I am a cunt just like you in that way. I don't live far from my parents and rarely see my mother. The daft thing is, I know the old bat will be dead in a year or two and I know I'll feel guilty for not seeing her more, She just gets on my tits.

    I've got a busload of guilt heading my way for sure.
  7. hotspur

    hotspur Active Member

    Messages:
    2,215
    wow,thats one hell of a good question ODM.I shall need to give it some thought
  8. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

    Messages:
    3,096
    Nasty position to be in, Hotspur, & one I feel that I'm guilty of as well, & probably will be even more so in the future.
    My old man retires next week, & my mom did 5 years ago. Probably get on with her a lot better since she has, never really saw eye to with her before that. Of course, you always realise in the end that she was right, thats part & parcel of growing up.

    I'm an only child, & there's things I've done that I regret...there's things I've done that I'm out & out fucking ashamed of, lets be honest....& one of the worst is that over a couple of things I lived a lie for many years, still do now as its too many under the bridge to turn it back. I've always hated two-facedness, back stabbing etc with a passion. I wouldnt say 'spade a spade' so much, more I'd just walk away, not condone something. So to be guilty of virtually exactly what I hate isn't a proud thing, something that would really hurt people, & I severely doubt that I'll get past it before I pass on.
    I live alone now, seperated, quite happy about it.....the ex is as well, I'm pretty sure :lol....which I guess makes me pretty selfish. Never really thought about the impact on your family that has. A few years ago (dont laugh) I bought a decent home gym.....yeah yeah I know. this is why I've made a study, idea being write for a bit, rep for a bit & so on....putting me off writing tbh :unsure but anyway. It was a bastard to put up, & my old man happened to pop round. My moms banned, cant be arsed clearing up to order. Anyway it took a few hours between us, & we probably talked more that afternoon than we had for donkeys...probably ever :embarassed
    Anyway, dunno how we got onto it, but....
    "Your mom & I were convinced you were on drugs at one point, after splitting up. Hurt your mom, didnt understand it, still dont...."
    Hmmm, deep breath required.....
    "Never took drugs, Dad, not what I'd consider drugs anyway. Smoked a few joints but thats all, not touched it since drove for a living...."
    I'll never forget the look on his face. Not sure what I expected, thanks for not taking drugs or something? But it was like....you were that much of a wanker to us & you hadnt taken drugs???
    Didnt know what to say, cos he looked appalled. Made a coffee quick......
    I disappeared for a while....quite a while in fact, & I was only living within 8 miles of their home. I'd lost my bottle as a bailiff, other things contributing, got sacked. Not for what it was for, but it was a fair cop overall. Had to move out where I was living, but wouldnt own up & go home, a step too far. Lived in the cricket club changing rooms for 6 months, starting in February (you can imagine :cold) Whether it was pride, fear of failure, whatever, it was stupid. Became a bit of a bum tbh. Laugh now, still play there, one of the legends of the club, that & a sex session on the pool table (rolls in the bottom left now) Just seen as one of those things you get through now, stupid though.
    Watched what it did to my mom when my gran died. My grandad died when I was working away, 98-ish, so she lived alone for about 3 years before started going senile, had to be moved into a home. She lasted a few years after that, not sure how many (cant really ring me mom & ask, she'd be, why? Well, mom, i'm just owning up to these blokes I've never met what a cunt I was when I was younger & how i never owned these things up to you :unsure no the phones staying where it is, thanks very much)
    She gradually got worse & worse, & although I used to pop in relatively regularly in the early days, I hated it & it became very sporadic, bearing in mind the home was 2 miles from the cricket ground I was working on :ohwell Even got to the point 'd say she was asleep when I got there just to get out of it. She never recognised my mom the last 2 years, but recognised & knew everything about me.....
    Anyway, my moms sister lived with her husband in Belgium so my dad was running the show, & taking out credit card after credit card, maxing them out to keep the home bills paid. I even lived in her house for a while before it had to be sold to stay afloat. My mom was scared shitless my nan would wake up one day, recovered :unsure

    Apart from grandparents, not lost anyone closer than friends yet, good friends though. The cricket club is cursed, & I mean cursed:
    1999, mate I used to live with, opening quickie. Massive asthma attack after being released from Redditch hospital for same thing, girlfriend rammed car through barriers on forecourt to get him in, dead as pulled from car. Aged 31.
    2003. Bloke who was 1sts captain when I was a young 2nds skipper. Helicopter engineer, used to be in charge of maintenance on Manchester Police's choppers. worked in Manc monday-thursday. 4 daughters, all under 11. was in gym, collapsed on treadmill, smashed head on way down, Scan revealed a brain tumour. Chemo, the works. Actually played first few games of next season. Scan found tumours down his spine. I was actually in the waiting room visiting with another mate when they told his wife, collapsed, we had to help. He was given 8 weeks. Sister brought her wedding forward to a sunday 6 weeks in so he could give her away. Died the morning before.....we played that day which might be why I said what I said about Bellamy last sunday. Wedding reception was a bad, bad place. Aged 39.
    2006. Lad I'd known a few years, best unpaid player I'd ever played with. Larger than life. Moved to coventry with new mrs, left us to play for a club there. After 10 weeks they hadnt lost a match, top of the table & heading for the Brummie League. he pulled his skipper aside, said he was coming back to us, even at a lower level, saying 'I've played with these lads for years, I'm missing them'. Played with us second half of the season. Good footballer as well, then he decided to retire from the footie, playing his last game, jumped for a header, final whistle went whilst in air. Dead before he ht the ground, enlarged arteries or something. Aged 37.
    2007. One of my best mates, coloured lad, ODM's met him. I wont tell the full story because we still dont know, & we never will know. He was an insurance broker, own business. He was in trouble, money. I knew, but didnt know how bad. Split from mrs, going with a bird from Walsall. I'd never met her & he hadnt shown me the photo, for a reason. She was a hooker, supplying him low level drugs, though she was on high level. I'd known him smoke, I used to roll for him even after I stopped, but I didnt know he was that deep, & it was after things like this you sit in a dark room in the early hours with blurred eyes, wondering if you ever know any fucker at all. Anyway, he'd rung me on the friday but it was a missed call. I tried him back but no joy. Tried him saturday, still no joy. Another lad tried him & a bird answered, evasive. Lad went round his house, bird answered door said 'Daves gone for a walk'. Now if that had been me I'd have been in past her like a rat up a drainpipe. Merc on the drive, this cunt didnt walk to the bog if he could help it :unsure
    This lad tried to find me, but it was out of season & only knew me as Swoop, so where'd you start? He got hold of another insurance broker that he knew was a mate & between them they kept trying him, & kept trying to find me. I thought nothing of it. tried another couple of times, nothing.
    Broker went to work monday morning, told his partner, who just stood up, told the office lad to get something 'big & hard' & the three of them marched up the hill. The lad went through the window. Dead for between 2 & 3 days.
    Hooker never showed to the inquest, vanished. Coroner read out the police interview & they pushed her hard. He'd smoked his, she was out of the room or out cold or something, so he injected same dose of heroin she used into his groin, presumably, hopefully through ignorance. She panicked. I say panicked, she took his phones & cash with her when she ran.
    Family fell apart at the inquest, couldnt give an answer when the coroner offered them an adjournment if they wanted the hooker present. In the end they let 3 of us, his mates sitting behind them, tell the coroner that we felt that there was no point in the adjournment, there was no crime, he'd done it himself, accidentally or not.
    You always wonder if there was something else you could have done. Not at the inquest, in life before that. The following season I broke back into the 1sts, then becoming captain, whereas I'd played most of my cricket with him in the 2nds. There were a couple of remarks made those first couple of seasons that were close to the knuckle. I remember putting my bat down mid pitch once whilst asking a bowler to repeat himself. I didnt want the temptation of using it. Luckily the non striker & a couple of the oppo were old school & sorted it out but it wasnt pretty for a while. Those are the stigmas of drugs deaths I guess. His mother was almost over the edge, used to ring me for about an hour once a week, drinking & crying, helped her feel closer to him by talking to me. Must have lasted 6 or 7 months before his stepdad got her sorted. I'd be out of words after 10 minutes. Used to hope it wasnt a snooker night cos I'd be long odds to pot anything afterwards

    in 12 years, we've lost 7 players. 4 not making 40. Of the last 9 saturday 1sts & 2nds captains, 4 are dead. I've been groundsman nearly 20 years, of the last 4 blokes to have helped me, 3 are dead, others had a heart attack. I'm 40 in march :unsure

    Fuck. Sorry to hear it Win, & best of luck Punt :thumb

    The only good thing to come out of this post is I'm now unlikely to be able to see my teams lose
  9. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

    Messages:
    3,096
    Fuck. Straight after I posted that I clicked on the BBC looking for the videprinter & found the tributes to Gary Speed at lunchtime :unsure

    Fucked. Well & truly
  10. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    11,616
    Fcuk me Swoops, I don't know about the Cricket club being cursed, you sound more like the grim reaper, I'm quite relived now I never went to meet you and ODM at the horses last yr, I can imagine me jumping for joy as the last winner on my accie comes in and ending up a dead heap on the floor.

    Sorry to hear about those friends of yours Wins and and some quite harrowing tales thereafter, I've been through a lot of shite in life and promised myself I'lll do this and that but never do, people are who they are , some are sentimental and like keeping in touch with family and others like me just like getting on with their own life, I rarely see my parents or brothers and sister apart from the usual get togethers like Christmas and partys etc which i enjoy but i never go out of my way otherwise, do i feel guilty about it? no , and never have done once i left the nest.
    Thats not to say i don't care as i would be there for anyone of them at the drop of a hat if they needed me, everybody is different and just live your own life and not anybody elses as you see fit.
  11. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

    Messages:
    10,558
    That's some fucking imagination you've got Slick. You? An accie?
  12. Punter

    Punter Moderator

    Messages:
    7,360
    :lol
  13. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    11,616
    Cheeky cnut:naughty
    Well its the nags ain't it, I don't mind the odd accie on them, in fact my biggest wins have been on the nags, it's the studying aspect of them i don't like, well i do but its the time aspect, you know what i mean lol.
  14. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

    Messages:
    3,096
    Its the losing aspect I dont like :unsure
  15. winrew

    winrew GILF

    Messages:
    2,086
    Well she didn't hang about , died around nine tonight ...
  16. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

    Messages:
    10,558
    Sorry about that mate.

    Just coming up to Christmas as well. Nice for the family I'm sure:frown
  17. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

    Messages:
    3,096
    Sorry Win :ohwell
  18. Punter

    Punter Moderator

    Messages:
    7,360
    Sorry to hear this Win :frown
  19. Betfly

    Betfly Member

    Messages:
    56
    Win that's tragic, truly sorry for the family .

    Requiescat in pace

Share This Page