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Eurovision 2014

And the winner is..Mollie Sugden..I mean Smitten-downes with Children of the Universe.Think last year's winner,think a young Bonnie Tyler,think a bit of Cliff Richard's Power to All Our Friends as Molly stomps around the stage with the subliminal message "I dare you not to like it" as the backing singers give a bite. What -you haven't heard it yet? Sorry,you didn't click on your Red button and you'll have to wait as I can't find it on youtube. It's here:
 
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And the winner is..Mollie Sugden..I mean Smitten-downes with Children of the Universe.Think last year's winner,think a young Bonnie Tyler,think a bit of Cliff Richard's Power to All Our Friends as Molly stomps around the stage with the subliminal message "I dare you not to like it" as the backing singers give a bite. What -you haven't heard it yet? Sorry,you didn't click on your Red button and you'll have to wait as I can't find it on youtube. It's here:
A shame the first thirty seconds of the three minutes is wasted Molly. Could you not mumble and remember your audience:youngsters whose first language is not English.
 
Kate Middleton-lookalike Dilara Kazimova transports us into an Azerbaijani Midsummer Night's Dream,but they've become infamous as the country that cheats and may be punished accordingly.
 
Apologies for some of the videos not working. Here's F.Y.R. Macedonia's borderline qualification entry:

Here is the Romanian entry,and even with digital enhancement this is a definite qualifier.
 
A note of desperation must have crept into Israel having failed to qualify these past three years,but I'm more optimistic about their chances this year with Mei Finegold with the song Same Heart.
 
The Netherlands will be represented by The Common Linnets and will have an American country style,but we will have to wait until next week to discover whether they are serious birds or just a couple of tits.
 
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People look to Sweden these days as they used to study Ireland in the 1990s and the UK before that,and this introspective song is among the best of the solo female vocalists.
 
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Michael Jackson style Basim will attempt two wins in a row for Denmark which leaves Molly really no time to hang around..
 
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It's here anyway. They won't be outdone by a party song again as they were in 2001..
 
The Slovenian entry is sung by flute teacher Tinkara and should qualify,though the instrumental guitar riffs are lacking which is a real shame.
 
Greece will qualify for the Final with their unpretentious rap number "Rise Up"..I mean if Alcohol is Free can finish 6th last year it's no wonder so many viewers have switched off over the years..
 
Folk trio Elaiza have sneaked through to win Germany's Song for Denmark tonight,and though cleverly arranged it's not a winner.
 
The Netherlands are taking a risk with their American country style,and as Germany found in 2006 it's not to every jury's taste.
 
We'll have to wait for the rehearsals to see how Armenia's entry pans out live,but the juries will surely put this song through.
 
It Maybe third time lucky for Valentina Monetta and San Marino if they realize the importance of choreographing their entry, which was sadly lacking in a similar song last year.
 
A mix of musical styles is manifest in Georgia's part New Age spiritualism part Green Party broadcast.
 
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Norway's hopes lie with Bergen bouncer Carl Espen,whose song is just a bit beyond him,even if he does sing from the heart.
 
Some entries could learn from Moldova's choreography this year,but the song is struggling to stand out in the same category as Estonia,Macedonia,UK and others,though Cristina's beauty and stage presence might just be enough to qualify.
 
Another pretty woman who at least gives it her all for Portugal,though some might say the song is just cheap and tacky.
 
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